Steps
by Nina La Vough
Summary: Post Jump Push Fall.
1. Next of Kin

_It's funny to see "Nina" resurrected, but when you got a cliffhanger she just seemed to come out. Only this time it's just jmkw and MADAMBETH. We hope you don't mind just two minds this time._

_We started writing this, email tags back and forth, the Monday after "Jump Push Fall" aired. It's not really "our" take like "Causa Mortis" started out as. More like ...just a little fluffy cliffhanger closure._

_We hope you enjoy._

_DISCLAIMER: Don't own them. Just playing with them for awhile. We promise to put them back when we're done. _

* * *

It was raining that day. The water hit the windows of the hospital with every blast of the wind. 

"Where's Jordan? I thought she'd be here." Lily asked.

"I left four messages on her phone. She's not answering." Garret looked up and down the hospital corridor once before sitting down next to Lily. By the way she clutching and unclutching her purse he could tell she was debating whether or not to call her again. "Slocum might have her running."

Lily sighed. She talked to Woody right before they wheeled him out. He didn't ask about her. In fact, he didn't say anything. "I don't think so. Something's not right Garret. I can feel it."

"With Jordan, you never know," he said checking his watch. "How long as he been in there?"

Lily squinted at the big round clock at the end of the hallway. "Ah, about three hours I guess. They didn't take long taking him in once the surgeon arrived."

Not missing the subtle gesture, Garret wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Lily just felt more than anybody he had ever met. He could only imagine how hard the last few days have been on her. His gut knotted with guilt. "He's going to be alright Lily. Everything's going to be alright..."

At the morgue, Jordan set the phone down on the cradle slowly. She laid her head on her desk. Whoever said 'no news was good news' should have to rot in cliché hell.

"His Majesty has requested that from now on any and all requested for your...gas chromatograph needs to be verified in writing by his office..." Nigel chuckled leaning against her doorframe. The way he slapped the requisition form on his thigh told her exactly how he felt about this newest directive. "He spelled it with two O's"

"...what?" Jordan asked lifting her head slowly.

"Darling, what are you doing here anyway? You should be at the hospital."

"With Garret...gone we're a little short staffed," Jordan said reaching out for the paperwork. She rolled her eyes and the yellow sticky note with big red letters that was slapped on top.

"Your hands had been officially slapped," Nigel drawled as he leaned on the corner of her desk.

"I'm sure he'll take away my birthday by the end of the week," Jordan replied tossing the report on her cluttered desk.

"I'll take care of it Jordan. Slocum is busy kissing political ass today. He told Emmy he'd be out all afternoon. We've got you covered...Go."

Jordan gave him a watery smile. It was the best she could do under the circumstances. She could tell by the look on his face Nigel could see right through her. "I'll stop by later..."

Nigel let her blatant lie slide. Lily had filled him in on the hell Jordan has been though from the second she answered the call from dispatch to the moment Woody came out of surgery and the ugly truth was discovered. The woman sitting before him wasn't the distraught woman Lily described to him over drinks.

"...Alright," he said walking to her door. "But if you change your mind..."

Jordan didn't have to wait long. No sooner had Nigel turned the corner into Trace a uniformed officer walked toward her office doorway. Not your everyday normal patrol officer. but Brass, somebody from the Commissioner office. Jordan knew these guys didn't just wonder into the morgue for no good reason and this one was looking for her. It could only mean one thing. She stood up and met him at the door.

"Dr. Cavanaugh. Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh?"

"...yes."

"The Police Commissioner would like you to know that he and his office is completely at your disposal in this time." the man said in a dry, memorized speech way.

"...It has been arranged through a personal courtesy from the D.A.'s office that you are granted personal leave affective immediately to take care of any an all outstanding business Detective Hoye may have." the officer handed Jordan a manila envelope. "Inside are Detective Hoye's personal affects ...wallet, keys...phone. His professional vehicle had been remanded until at which time he is well enough to have it reissued. His personal vehicle is parked at an address attached to the memo from the office inside. There are also numbers and contacts for the department's ombudsman and the president of the Boston Police Department Wives Club. Please avail yourself of any and all help they can give you ma'am. And once again we all hope Detective Hoye recovers quickly." With a firm hand shake he turned and left the way he came.

"His name is Hoyt. Woody Hoyt." Jordan called down the hall after him. In a state of relived shock she opened the envelope. The man was a packrat. She pulled out the memo inside. It was from the Police Commissioners office spelling out her rights and responsibilities as Woody's next of kin.

"Next of Kin? Nigel!"

Nigel looked up when he saw Jordan storming into Trace. "What's wrong?"

"What the hell does this mean?" she asked handing him the envelope.

Unable to hold his curiosity, Nigel dumped the contents on a nearby table. It didn't take a forensics specialist to figure out who the contents belonged to. He took the standard yellow form out of her limp hand. He had filled out a few of these in his career...so had Jordan. So, Woody named her his next of kin. It really didn't surprise him. After Woody's very mysterious fall out with his brother, the man had nobody. Nobody but them.

"It looks like the department has made you his official babysitter for the time being..." Nigel said lightly.

Jordan was past listening. She was centered on the ragtag pile of belongings from on Woody when they brought him in the hospital. She reached out to run a finger over the worn leather wallet. She remembered him once complaining about needing a new one but not wanting to go through the hassle of breaking a new one in. There was his new picture phone. She smiled thinking about a slow evening not too long ago that he found out Sydney had the same model. They had spent the next hour chasing each other around the morgue trying to "shoot" pictures of each other. The results that showed up in email tags over the next few days had them all laughing. That was when something shiny caught her eye. She pushed aside an ATM receipt and a pack of bubble gum to get a better look...

Nigel turned his attention away from the paper when Jordan froze. When her face grow suddenly pale he asked, "Jordan, love...are you alright...?"

It was the ring.

It was Nigel who reached out to pick it up. He flipped it around his finger looking at it like a man...like Nigel would look at anything that caught his imagination. Jordan had to admit in his hand and outside its box it looked smaller...but not any less intimidating. She felt a tear form in her eye.

"So this is it? The theoretical ring?" Nigel studied the setting. .

Jordan could only nod.

"He's carried around all these weeks. It's pretty." He had to press. "...and why didn't you take it again?"

"Nigel!" she exclaimed in outrage. "It's...It wasn't...I don't...Damnit, it's complicated."

Jordan snatched the ring out of his fingers. Why was he carrying it? The thought of that ring may have haunted her for days after her birthday; she never really looked at it. It was really a harmless ring. White gold and diamond chips, maybe not something she would have ever picked out for herself but she could see why he thought she'd like it. The face was flat. It was designed to wrap around the finger. It would be comfortable to wear...

"Why don't you try it on?" he whispered.

"I can't," she said quickly stuffing it back in the envelope. She felt like they were somehow prying into Woody's personal business. "Um, I'm going to..." she stalled and grabbed the set of keys. "I'm going to...take this stuff over to his place and...and check his mail. It's the least I can do."

"You can stop by the hospital on the way..."

Before Jordan could answer Nigel's cell rang. He motioned for her not to run off. Jordan finished refilling the envelope while he finished what turned out to be a short phone call.

"That was Lily. Woody's out of surgery. She, ah, wants you to know, she and Garret are planning on sticking around until he wakes up..."

"Good. He needs somebody there..."

Jordan turned heal and left.


	2. Lucky

Woody lay in his hospital bed, as always, stuck at a crossroads. Luckily, this crossroad only split at how many times he could pump the little morphine button in his hand before the machine stopped pumping, reminding him of how often was too often to use the potent meds.

"Yeah.." he mumbled looking menacingly at the machine. "Well what do you know about pain? Your legs still work..." he slurred like a drunk and laughed humorlessly as he tapped the cord of the little IV against the steel 'feet' of the pole holding his meds and looked the shiny metal over.

"You know...I used to think I was like you...Superman...man of steel..." he said flicking the pole with a 'ping' for effect. "I thought my dad was too but I was wrong...wrong, wrong, _wrong_..." he murmured dropping his head back.

"It's...faster than a speeding bullet." he exclaimed with a slow nod. "Not...not...slower than some punk kid's.22.." he added with that same dry laugh.

Before he could finish his monologue with the morphine drip a nurse came into the room to check on his bandages.

"Looks better detective...you're a lucky man." she said lightly and patted his shoulder.

Woody grinned brightly. "That's what they'll call me when I'm wheeling my dead legs around the office clerking for the next 30 years...kinda like callin' a big fat guy 'Tiny' right?" he laughed.

The nurse just sighed and shook her head.

"Oh please boy, you're a young man...and if that pretty little thing that's been sneaking around here, while you've been having flashbacks to the Aztec village you made in the third grade is your woman...I'll bet runnin' your cute little butt off into the sunset with her will be enough incentive to get you up and walking..." she said patting one of his legs as she finished rubbing them to keep the blood flowing and covered them back up.

"Jordan's been here?" he asked finally pulling himself out of the morphine enough to form a coherent thought. "I told her to go away." he sighed and looked back towards the window.

"Well," the nurse said with a cluck. "You're more lucky than I thought...she cares enough about you not to listen that macho bullshit..." she mumbled waving her hand over him as she left the room still talking to herself.

Woody watched her leave with narrowed eyes and finally huffed a laugh, turning back to the pole. "See what I mean? You're the only one who understands me." he said dropping his head back to the pillow and falling asleep again, the smooth cylinder of the pump still clutched in his hand.

* * *

Jordan knew he'd be asleep when she finally slipped down the hospital corridors well after visiting hours. Lucky for her, she had half the nurses on night shift covering for her and her late night visits to check on her _friend_. 

Friend. When had Woody EVER been just her friend?

For all of the times she had looked him straight in the eye giving the 'let's just be friends' speech, there had been just as many times when she had been completely full of shit when she'd said it. Yes, at first he had just been the goofy farm boy detective who followed her around with hearts spinning around his head, but it hadn't taken long for him to become so much more than that. Jordan didn't have many friends in life. She had even fewer who she trusted completely with her life but Woody had quickly become one of them.

He told her when he thought what she was doing was wrong or dangerous to her life or career. He said 'no' to her even when she caked on the charm and sexuality...because he could see through her little games. He knew that if she couldn't protect herself, he would just have to do it for her then. But most importantly, when she had pushed him away, like she did every man that got that close, he had stood fast and refused to move, vowing to hold her tighter and not let her get away from him so easily.

And now here he was, laying in a hospital bed, having heard the one thing he'd always wanted her to be able to admit to him, but thinking it had been said out of pity for his condition.

Could they _ever_ do anything completely right?

Jordan would have laughed at the thought if it didn't hurt so much to know that Woody may have finally completely given up on her. That was until she remembered that he still had that ring in his belongings.

She allowed herself a small smile and slipped into the room, leaving the manila folder on his tray and the ring purposefully beside it. With one last look over his weakened body Jordan quietly left the room, letting out a silent prayer that she was right and he had not yet given up on holding her tighter.

Woody could swear he could smell her. By the time his eyes functioned enough to open the gentle scent had evaporated along with the fog of his dreams.

"You're awake," said a chipper voice from the foot of his bed. "How are you feeling Lucky?"

The night nurse that had stuck him with the god-awful moniker the shift before was back. He wanted to call her something not very polite in return. Instead he just glared at her.

"My, we're talkative this evening," she reached for the envelope on the tray by his bed. "Your lady dropped this off...I'll put this in the cabinet over here. It's really not safe to keep valuables here."

Woody looked at the envelope in surprise. Jordan was there. "Wait..." he held his hand out.

The nurse handed it over. He recognized by the size and width it was his personal effects. In investigations he had seen these envelopes before. Unless they were being used as evidence, they were turned over to the next of kin. In his case that was a toss of a coin. When he and Cal had their fall out, in a fit of rage, he changed all his vital information. His supervisor wouldn't let him name his goldfish as his legal relative. High on emotion, he penciled in Jordan's name knowing it was just temporary and hoping someday it wouldn't be...but that was..._Before._

He mentally kicked himself for putting her in the position of having to deal with his effects and wondered if she looked inside. He took a cursory look inside until he had the nurse let out a series of tsk-tsks. "What...?"

She wordlessly handed him the ring.

By the look on her face Woody could tell she thought Jordan was giving it back to him. She didn't know he had been carrying it around with him for weeks. At first he told himself he was hauling it around so that when he had a free moment he could return it. As days turned into a week he _dumped _the little velvet box against the wall of his apartment and slipped the ring in his pocket. He chalked it up to ego. How could he face the jeweler again? He decided to pawn it. The weeks turned in to a month and he was still carrying it.

He let out a very ungentlemanly snort. He twisted it around his finger once before he tossed it in the envelope with the rest of his stuff and handed it over to the nurse. "...thanks," he muttered.

* * *

It was Friday. Jordan looked the mirror one last time before she left the locker room. When she agreed to go on this blind date the world was totally different. A week ago she would have stopped in Garret's office on her way out the door and told him to get a life and try and talk him into meeting her after her "date" for a few postpartum drinks. This time she just walked past the CME's office. There was nobody in there she wanted to talk to. 

She should have canceled. Lily told her that David was an understanding guy and would be more than happy to reschedule. Jordan decided to go forward. After the week she had just lived through...she needed a break.

In the long run, the evening ended up being pretty pleasant. A week before, it would have been very interesting. David was a very nice guy. It made Jordan wonder why Lily didn't keep him for herself. But then again Lily was as confused about her feeling as Jordan was. The music was as amazing as expected. The drink after was a pleasant change of pace for her. Jordan's circle of friends had slowly dwindled down to the people she worked with. It was refreshing to talk to someone who didn't talk about dead people. At the end of the evening he asked if he could call her later. Even though she knew nothing would become of this new friendship Jordan couldn't find any harm in that.

...At least not yet.


	3. Poor Pitiful Me

As the days past, Woody couldn't remember if he smelled Jordan's perfume or not any more. If she was still showing up...the nurses never told him.

Much to his pleasure, his visitor list dwindled to almost nothing. A surly attitude got the result he wanted. The only person that didn't seem to get the hint was Sydney.

Two weeks and half weeks into his hospital stay and Sydney was a reliable as the clock on the wall. Every day it was the same. He'd show up after work, bitch about it, and then fill Woody in on anything that remotely sounded like interoffice gossip. After the first two weeks Woody gave up trying to run the young man off. Woody would never admit it but he was actually started looking forward to his visits after a while. Sydney was the only person that didn't look at his legs like they expected him to jump out of bed and start walking.

It was on that day Sydney tracked him down in the solarium.

"Don't get a speeding ticket in that thing Detective," Sydney smiled pointing at Woody's wheelchair.

"I'm still trying to figure out how to not run into everything..."

"You won't be in it long enough," Sydney shrugged. He pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket and without asking he walked over to an open table and began to deal. "...deuces wild and the score stands in my favor."

Woody had no choice but to wheel over to the table. By the time he awkwardly maneuvered the chair in place, he had broken out in a sweat and Sydney was already studying his cards.

"It's easier to turn that thing if you use a lighter grip on the wheel. I'm taking two and raising you $500," Sydney said pulling a well worn take out napkin from his pocket. He had been using it to keep score of the card game they'd had been playing the last few days.

Woody begrudgingly gave Sydney a smile. "$500, huh? You know I'm never going to be able to cover these bets."

"I'll take your marker." Sydney deadpanned. "I won't ask how therapy went today."

"Good, because it sucked."

"It's supposed to...Fold." Sydney tossed his cards down.

"It's just getting worse."

"Worse is good. Reteaching your nerves to work isn't easy."

Woody dealt out the next hand. "Did they teach you that in medical school?"

"No, it was something I figured it out first hand."

Woody lifted his eyebrows, curious of something other than his own melodramatic self for the first time in weeks.

"Really? You...you mean you were paralyzed?" he laughed looking at the young man's legs.

Sydney just nodded as the next hand was dealt and waited for Woody to take his cards and check the bet before he continued.

"I was in a car accident when I first started driving. My brother and sister were in the car with me, horsing around like the dumb teens we were..." he called Woody's raise and smiled when the detective won the hand.

"Took a telephone pole right outta the ground, now tell me THAT'S not impressive?" he challenged and puffed out his cheeks as he looked over his new hand. "Fold." he said tossing the cards down and folding his hands across his stomach when he saw the questions coming up on Woody's face.

"Yeah...yeah, impressive...but did by any chance some shrapnel from the car go through your body, nick your spine and make you dead from about here.." Woody said indicating his sternum with a point of one finger. "...down?" he asked snidely. "Cause otherwise I don't think it's quite the same.." he said dropping his cards to the table with a sigh.

"No...no I didn't...but I did have a metal pole off the construction truck in front of me go through my side and nick my spine..." Sydney said dryly and lifted his shirt to show the long scar on his left side over his ribs. "Took the jaws of life and some serious hedge clipper like things to get me outta the car..."

Sydney held Woody's gaze steadily, almost angrily before he realized Woody was only speaking out of fear. Fear of an uncertain future.

"Oh..." Woody said shamefully and cleared his throat. "So...so, when'd you start walking again?"

Sydney didn't have a chance to answer when Woody began to curse when his damaged body finally registered that his one foot caught between the leg rest and the table leg It probably had turned purple by now from lack of blood. "Shit...shit!" he said reaching to pull the pant leg of his sweats up and sighing as he rubbed the dead limb to try and return some color to it.

"It was long...I won't lie to you, about 3 months of painful, I'd-rather-be-flying therapy before I finally felt the doctor pat my foot on his way out of my room one morning.." Sydney explained wordlessly moving to the chair beside Woody and casually lifting the detective's leg onto his own knee and rubbing the calf to get the blood circulating.

Woody nodded a thank you and looked around the room, trying to hold onto what dignity he had left.

"Three months.." he said in a soft voice, almost in danger of sounding like the easy going man he'd once been. "I don't think I can do it...I don't think I could wait that long...it's too hard." Woody looked up surprised when Sydney suddenly dropped his foot. "Hey! What the hell did you do that for?" he asked angrily.

"Ah, shut up ya jerk...you didn't feel it anyway," Sydney shot back shaking his head. "And where the hell do you get off saying it's too hard? You don't think you can do it? Boy, was is your head crippled along with your legs? You can do it...you just need to pull your proud, dumb, big eared head outta the sand and think of who's been here for you and wants to help you..."

Sydney mumbled as he gathered up his cards and his jacket barely giving Woody a chance to speak. "Just a stubborn jackass if you ask me..."

"You comin' onto me Sydney?" Woody asked with a sarcastic laugh.

"No...and thank the Lord.." Sydney huffed and pointed at Woody as he headed for the door. "You got one devoted...DAMN fine lookin' woman stopping by late nights after working all day who would jump at the chance to help you...to GET you through this but what do you do?"

"You wanna sit around feeling sorry for yourself and playing cards with a guy whose last name you probably don't even know..." Sydney continued with a smirk. "You might wanna give up on the 'woe is me' bit, it's working _AWESOME_ for you so far." he said turning and letting the door shut behind him as he shook his head and shuffled the cards once more before returning them to their little box and slipping them into his pocket with a grin.

When she walked into the hospital earlier and found Sydney looking for Woody she asked him not to tell Woody he saw her. She'd come back later. Somehow she never made it out the exit. She had heard the stories about Woody's disposition...everybody was concerned. Sydney was the only one that didn't act like Woody's attitude was alarming. They all chalked it up to Sydney not knowing the old Woody. Even though she told herself to go home and get some sleep she still found herself drawn to the solarium door.

Jordan jumped when the door opened and felt herself uncharacteristically blush at Sydney's speech about her being a fine looking woman. She looked like hell. She has for weeks. There wasn't enough makeup in the city to cover the grey paleness of her skin. She felt like a kid caught doing something bad when Sydney shoved the cards in his pocket and stop in front of her.

"Your boyfriend is a jackass you know...and you're not much better for letting him do it." His words were harsh but his tone was far from it. In fact, he sounded slightly amused.

Jordan smiled in spite of herself. "Tell me something I don't know. How is he doing...really?"

Sydney looked back at the glass door. "Go find out for yourself Jordan." With a small smile Sydney continued down the hallway. Over his shoulder he yelled back telling Jordan to tell Woody that he'd be back tomorrow.

Taking a deep breath and smoothing her hand over her hair Jordan pushed the solarium door open. "Hi."

"Oh...hi.." Woody said folding his hands over his lap trying to sit up better. "I thought it was Sydney back for a second round.." he said trying to be light but cleared his throat.

"So how are you feeling?" "So how's work?" they both asked talking over one another and shared an uncomfortable laugh.

"I guess I'll live.." Woody shrugged.

"You'll be up and around in no time, they've got the best doctors in the city working on you..." she nodded. "I called Cal." Jordan blurted out suddenly and the fire returned to Woody's eyes.

"What?" he asked exasperated. He didn't want Cal there. "Jordan...it wasn't your PLACE...it wasn't...how could you just,...I don't need HIS pity on top of .." he stopped himself and ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"Mine...on top of mine I know... it's okay for you to say it. You may think that, but it's not true Woody...It never was and it never will be...but I'm not going to sit by your side day in and day out trying to convince you of that. You know me Woody.." she said quietly, her voice laced with hurt. "And because of that you know that I'm telling you the truth." she said holding his gaze. She was tired and drained. Her emotions were dangerously close to the surface and she let him have it with both barrels...even though her voice had dropped to barely a whisper.

"I thought that the idea I might lose you hurt more than anything I've ever felt...but I was wrong...trying to convince myself to let you go hurts so much more.." Jordan whispered shakily and wiped a stray tear away. "And Cal deserves to know. He may not be all you've got in the world but you're all HE'S got and whether you'll admit it or not, that matters to you... Good night Woody."

With her head high she turned and walked out leaving Woody alone with a room of strangers that could only shake their heads.

* * *

_Thank you for all the nice reviews. I hope you're enjoying the story. We had a good time writing it. __Unfortunately, Bug didn't make it in this story which kinda makes me sad. I (jmkw) enjoy writing his snarky self. ...but we thought we'd play with Sydney a little. The whole 'Do you have brothers and sisters?' speech from Skin & Bones gave us the needed little bunny for this fic that wouldn't have worked with Bug. As for leaving the hospital (NCCJFAN), let me just say a rehab has the potental for a few kinks. ;)_


	4. Rehab

Two weeks later, Woody was still mad at Jordan for over stepping her boundaries and calling Cal even though he hadn't even heard one word from his scoundrel of a brother. It wasn't like he had much time to really dwell on it. He was being moved to a rehabilitation facility. Sydney told him this was where the hell began. Woody wheeled his way around the hospital room that had been his home for the last month packing up his stuff.

He saved digging out the police evidence envelope that held his possessions for last. He slipped his wallet in the pocket of his sweatpants along with the cell phone whose battery was remarkably still charged after a month of no use. He'd check his messages on the ride. He wasn't surprised that his badge wasn't there. He knew it was waiting for him, along with his firearm, to go back to work...if he ever did. It was the department's way of being able to phase him out easier if need be. For that Woody, was thankful. He couldn't imagine having to go back...just to leave. He was ready to toss out the bag when he felt the ring inside. The little diamonds twinkled as he dumped the ring into his hand. He laughed to himself thinking it was like they were mocking him...reminding him of a life that never was nor would ever be.

"Detective Hoyt, are your ready?" asked the burly orderly that acted as his personal chauffer the last few weeks.

Woody was tempted to give the guy the ring. He talked about a girlfriend once or twice. Maybe she'd like it. Woody didn't have any use for it anymore. At the least moment he slipped it back into his pocket. If anything it made a good worry stone.

"...I was ready four weeks ago."

By the time the transport pulled up to the hospice Woody was beginning to regret his cell battery wasn't dead. The first call was from a telemarketer telling him he had just qualified to be added to a drawing for a new vacation home in the Bahamas. The second call was from his landlord telling him that he let some dark haired woman into his apartment to make sure nothing crawled out of his refrigerator. He assured Woody he made sure she didn't take anything but a stinky trash can. The next call was from the drycleaner apparently "a pushy female by the name of Cavanaugh" wanted to pick up his laundry and he wanted to know if Woody approved. Woody could almost hear Jordan in the background arguing with Mr. Kim over his shirts. The last call was from Cal.

"_Wood...um, I don't know if you'll be able to get this message but I want you to know I'm thinking of you. Jordan told me everything that happened. Man, I'm sorry...I don't know what else to say but...I miss ..."_

Woody had to hang up as they wheeled him into the building. He didn't know what to expect from the idea of moving to a rehab. The inside looked just like the hospital. The same sounds and the same smells.

The nurse that met him at the door must have either read his mind or was just used to the look on his face. "It's our way of giving you incentive to get better quicker. By the way Detective Hoyt you already have a visitor..." she smiled as she wheeled him into the ward.

He could make out her figure standing by the windows that the nurse said looked out over the courtyard below. For a moment he wondered which one of them had lost more weight. He pushed his chair forward. "How much do I owe you for my laundry?"

Jordan slowly turned around. "You'd think your underwear would sell for big bucks on Ebay by the way your cleaners guarded them."

It still took her breath away to see him in a wheelchair and looking so...frail. "How are you doing?"

Woody looked around the room and the handful of people that would be serving as his roommates for the duration. "I guess I'm one step closer to being whatever I'm one step closer to."

Jordan smiled and gave him a little nod. "You'll be out of here soon enough." She handed his a stack of mail. "I used you power of attorney to pay some of your bills. You pay way too much for cable..." she rambled.

"You didn't have too Jordan," he replied uncomfortably.

"I kinda had to. Big brother was watching."

"What?"

"The department assigned me a liaison to make sure your affairs where in order. Apparently they don't want you to fall behind on anything and make the department looking like they've turned their backs on you...You're a hero after all" she said walking closer.

Woody rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry Jordan. When I filled out that stuff I didn't think that..."

She stopped him with a finger to his lips. "I would have done it anyway farmboy."

Woody nodded quietly and then laughed sadly. "Farmboy..." he said shaking his head. "You haven't called me that much lately..." he said matter-of-factly. "Course I haven't been that farmboy you met for quite some time have I?" he asked. And it was true. He'd changed a lot since his arrival in Boston. Some for the better, some for worse...but there had definitely been a change.

He was no longer naive as he'd once been. He was cynical, even a touch pessimistic. But one thing was still true of his first encounter with Jordan Cavanaugh. She still made his heart shoot into his throat every time he saw her.

"You still are somewhere deep down in there." Jordan tried to tease lightly back. She smiled but Woody noticed it never reached her eyes.

"I'm glad you think so.." he said back and casually touched the ring through his pocket. "So, I start my 'Super therapy' tomorrow." Woody said changing the subject with mock enthusiasm. "I met the guy this morning...seems nice enough, hopefully I won't want to rip his head off by the end of the first week." he laughed sadly.

"No matter what you think it's not in you," Jordan smiled just as sadly at him. "I'm more worried about you ripping your own head off. You didn't ask for this Woody..."

"Didn't I?"

"You didn't ask to be shot..."

"I'm tired Jordan," he cut in. "If you don't mind, I've got to get settled in and I'm sure you have something better to do..."

Jordan watched the life disappear from his eyes once again as he pulled his hand out of his pocket. "...sure. I'll see you around."

Jordan walked out looking at her watch. Seven minutes. The last conversation they had lasted five. She had to smile as she slipped on her sunglasses and walk out of the building.

* * *

The next morning dawned to what Woody forever would imagine when he heard the word 'Hell.'

Sydney stopped by as he did every day...but this time he arranged his schedule to be there for Woody's afternoon session. Sydney told Woody he was just there to gloat, but in reality he was there as a cheerleader. He little words and actions of encouragement and commiseration made what was a short but extremely difficult session tolerable.

Later, after the therapist had left Sydney handed Woody a bottle of water before he pushed him down the hall to a common room.

"My teeth even hurt..." Woody complained half heartedly.

"It's when your hair hurts that you know you're making progress," Sydney laughed back.

"You said it took months..."Woody started. He was past being discouraged, but the therapist sounded so promising. It was really hard to hate the guy even though he felt like telling the guy to stick his closed kinetic chain exercises where the sun didn't shine.

"That was me...not you. I was a just scared sixteen year old kid with a serious chip on his shoulder... you are just a jackass with a chip on both shoulders." Sydney smirked sitting down at a table and pulling out his cards.

Woody pulled up across from him with a little more grace than he did the first time they had been in that situation. "Shut up and deal."


	5. David

Jordan kept on telling herself dinner was just dinner. She was surprised when David called and suggested they meet. After their one and only date she made it very clear that they couldn't be anything more than just friends. As hurt as she was by Woody rejection, she couldn't just turn off her feelings. When she explained this to David he seemed to understand. He thanked her for a pleasant evening and told her if she ever changed her mind to give him a call.

She called the next day.

That was over a month ago. David was safe. It reminded her of that platonic safety she had with Woody...only she wasn't involved...neither was he. David was still a stranger. He didn't know about her past. He didn't know about the hell she had been through at the hands of the three men she loved and trusted most in the world. The best of all wasthe most difficult question he asked was how she liked her coffee. To him she was just a woman named Jordan who happened to work for the state. Sometimes it was nice to be that simple.

David beat her to the Indian restaurant and was waving to her from a table by the window as she walked up. It was funny that he suggested that particular place. It was just down the street from the rehab where Woody was staying. She noticed it as she drove past after visiting him and wondered if he'd be interested in trying it out some day when he had a few hours of parole.

"Hi."

David smiled as Jordan walked up to him at the table by the front window. He was happy to see his new friends' smiling face. Especially after the sour one he'd had to look at during his last session for the day.

"So, shrink any good heads today?" Jordan asked with a wag of her eyebrows as she took the seat across from him and David ordered her a soda. He had to smile. He couldn't help it but he enjoyed keeping up his charade of being a 'shrink' as Jordan called it. When he had told her he was a therapist she had automatically assumed he meant a psychiatrist. He didn't tell her she was wrong and he suspected that if he was one, he would have probably saw more in her assumption than just a wrong guess.

"You know I'm not supposed to discuss my patients." David smiled around the edge of his water glass and shrugged. It wasn't entirely a lie. If there was one thing he learned through his years as a physical therapist it was to be vague when necessary. When Jordan just rolled her eyes in response he smiled.

"But if I COULD discuss my patients I'd tell you about this last guy I had today..." David said shaking his head.

"Ah," Jordan said nodding back. "Real whack job huh?" she asked

David laughed softly in response. "Nah...more just the type to not think he' can get any better...believe you me Jordan...no one gets better unless they want to and that's the truth." He said with conviction.

And it was true. Whether mental or physical strain a person has to believe they can recover.

"They need good people in their lives to back them up too...Theoretically..." he winked at Jordan over their food as it came to the table.

"He just is resigned to where he's at in life...you know? I'm finding it really hard to make any progress with him right now..I mean he's not moving backwards but he's not moving forward either..like he's waiting for something to just magically fix him and he doesn't want to do any of the work to get there anymore...and he's just tired...you can see it in his eyes, his body language..." he let out a short sad laugh. "He's gonna be a challenge, I know that much about him but other than that he's keeping relatively tight lipped..." David explained.

"So what about you? How's your friend doing?" he asked trying to remember what little information she'd given about the injured, complicated relationship with her 'friend' in the hospital.

Jordan had been vague on the details about Woody. She didn't know if it was just embarrassment or if she was guarding Woody privacy that she spoke in circles to David. She didn't want to admit to herself that she was just licking old wounds along with the new ones. She just assumed David heard enough crazy people every day...he didn't need to listen to one on his off hours.

"Better, I think... We really haven't talked much since the 'accident'. When we do, it's awkward. A mutual friend of ours...a co-worker visits him daily but he's pretty tight about filling the rest of us in. Those two share something that none of us have quite put a finger on..."

Innocently David asked, "Are they...involved?"

Jordan choked on her soft drink. "Um...no. As amusing as that sounds...no. Syd may be good looking but...my friend is from...he's...Sydney's not his type."

The name "Sydney" stuck a nerve with David. His problem case, the police officer that took a bullet a few weeks back, had a friend named Sydney. From what he could decipher from their conversations this Sydney guy had some life changing challenges with injuries himself as a kid. As a physical therapist, David saw that kindred spirits like that helped his patients. That's why he let this Sydney stick around during his sessions.

It made him ask, "Your co-worker, Sydney? He wouldn't happen to have been similarly injured at one time?"

"Syd?" Jordan laughed. "I doubt it. I understand he's ran in the Boston Marathon every year since he was eighteen."

"I've seen people bounce back for catastrophic injuries to do just that."

"You work a lot with victims of injuries don't you?" Jordan asked out of calculated curiosity.

David hedged. He worked with all kinds, from pro athletes to grandmothers recovering from hip surgery. Trauma victims were just one facet of his career. "...sometimes."

'That's good to know."

* * *

When Woody went in for his last therapy session of the day he was almost happy to see the kind, thirty-something PT guy he'd become accustomed to over the past few weeks. With Jordan stopping by intermittently and the routine of his old daily life gone, Woody found some comfort in the familiar faces that greeted him every weekday at 4 pm. 

"David, always a pleasure." He said smirking sarcastically. The other man just nodded and offered him a hand to help him to his feet.

"You know the drill, hold tight to the rails detective and keep an eye on your feet while you walk.." David returned casually.

"Walk is such a relative term Doc..."Woody quipped back through painful cringes. "This is more of a shuffle than anything...though I'm gonna have a hell of an upper body when I finish with all this...shit.." he mumbled and dragged his legs on the floor as he moved to the chairs just past the railing with David's hands on his hips holding him up straight.

"You've already got a hell of an upper body man...look for the violin music elsewhere." David returned with a smile and helped the man into a chair and sat him back as he prepped to work on his leg exercises.

"So..." He started casually. "Does your lady know you've got the feeling back in your lower torso and thighs yet?" he asked and wasn't surprised when Woody just shrugged.

"She's not my lady...and it's a small victory in the long run so I think I'll wait, thank you." Woody leered and grimaced as David moved his legs a little more roughly.

"Well, I think you're a stubborn idiot if you don't mind me saying.."

"...and what if I DO mind you saying?" Woody hissed out through a groan as he watched his legs move, still baffled by not being able to really feel them even as they moved. It was like he had been sitting to long and they were asleep and just on the cusp of getting really prickly as he started to move...only that prickly feeling wasn't there.

"...There isn't a choice..." David nodded. "Why? Were you gonna storm out of here away from me and not listen?" he asked raising his eyebrows and smiled when the detective just folded his arms stubbornly.

"I'm not telling you what to do...but from how you describe this chick she sounds like she's pretty special to you...you say you're just friends, but I get the distinct impression you're interested in it being more...both of you." he said remembering how often his patient mentioned this 'friend' stopping by.

"That was before. She didn't sign on for this," Woody pointed at his all but useless legs.

"Nobody signs on for trauma Woody." David said softly as he helped Woody to his feet for another trip down the rails. "They just accept it...and grow from the experience...as do the people in their lives."

Pretty words. Woody snorted wondering how often David had said them in his career. Tall, good looking obviously athletic...his buddy David could talk the talk. Woody ignored the little voice in his head saying that Sydney had been telling him the same thing for weeks.

Neither of them knew his relationship with Jordan or really anything about him for that matter. There was no way Woody would drag Jordan into this life...no matter how much he wanted her.

"You don't know Jordan..." Woody growled as he made it to the end of the rails and turned for around for one more pass.

It was David who stumbled during the next set of steps. It was all he could do to stabilize Woody while he untangled his feet.

"You alright?" Woody asked with honest concern as David's face devoid of color before it filled back up again.

"Yeah, damn shoe lace..." David muttered as he reached for his perfectly tied shoes, a fact that didn't escape Woody's keen eyes. "So...Jordan...let's her name?"

"We work together...or we used to work together."

"...and you wanted more...?" David asked leadingly.

"Jordan is one of those women you can't decide if you love or hate...but you know you're never going to get over her no matter what."

"Have you told her how you feel?"

"It's not like it's relevant anymore..." Woody panted at the end of the rails.

David just nodded and helped Woody turn to make another trip.


	6. Sidewalk Sale, Pool and Cal

"You know eventually we'll have to do something together that doesn't involve eating David.." Jordan laughed lightly as they strolled along a sidewalk sale one Saturday each eating a hot dog.

"Where would the fun in that be? I mean, I like to eat...you like to PRETEND you like to eat.." He said waving a hand over her fit body. "I mean what do you do? Run ten miles a day?" David said shaking his head as the athlete...and man... in him couldn't' help noticing her physique.

Jordan just rolled her eyes in that self conscious way she always did and shrugged. "Nah, not really...well not anymore so much since Wood got hurt.." she sighed. "He was a big time runner before all this.." she said waving a hand around casually and wiped some relish off of her lip gently.

"We ran together mornings...and before you say it Sigmund Freud, it WAS NOT to relieve all of the sexual tension we had building up inside of us..." she said and smirked. "We did THAT by fighting..."

"Ahhh...so you're THAT type are you? Is that why we get along so well then? No emotions bubbling right there at the surface needing to be set free in any way they can?" David asked with a gentle smile and raised a hand when Jordan looked apologetic.

"Please, it's okay, there is no written law that a man and woman can't be friends without being anything more..." he said nodding and nudged her elbow with his own. "But it also isn't written in stone that friends can't become more as I'm sure you know." he sighed and thought of the man who now had a name and a face for him to put to the almost-relationship he and Jordan always ended up talking about at some point during their outings together.

"Woody's like a...a..." she started and stopped.

"Don't you even say the 'he's like a brother' line to me...I ain't biting..." David laughed back. "You know that's a bunch of bull and if you're wanting to be with this guy it's obviously not in a brotherly kinda way." he explained

Jordan just sighed. "It's too late...I've hurt him too badly already and I just don't think there's any recovering from this one..." she retorted with quietly and sipped her can of Diet Pepsi.

"Let me let you in on a secret," David said finding an open park bench. "Men are just big babies."

"Tell me something I don't already know." Jordan laughed so hard soda dribbled down her chin. David reached out with his napkin to wipe it up.

"It's true. We whine, we complain, we carry on...all so that some woman will feel sorry for us and mother us."

"Oh, "Jordan added sarcastically. "So Woody's rejection is his way of telling me he needs me?"

"In a round about way ...yes. In my line of work I've met people who use these type life setbacks as diving boards into new more complete lives...while a handful others use them as excuses to shy away from the outside world."

"That second group sounds like Wood." Jordan replied tracing her finger around the rim of her soda can.

"On the contrary, he's crying out for you Jordan. He's crying out for someone to hold his hand and get him through this."

"You sound awful confident for guy who's never met him...but then again you're the shrink..."

David knew he should feel guilty for leading Jordan on...but his guilt was nothing compared to the big picture. David cared about Jordan. It was hard not to feel for her. If he had met her first, things might be different...but he didn't. Woody did. Even though he was trained not to, David cared about Woody...even though caring for the battered cop was difficult at times. David could tell that, if he didn't feel like his life was irrevocably tied to his legs, Woody might be a nice guy.

He had to be to have somebody like Jordan care for him like she did and as his _physical _therapist he was more concerned about Woody focusing on getting well again. Not just for the shear fact of functioning...whichWoody has consigned himself to...but a strength to live again.

"So, you have decided to just keep that sexual tension at bay by letting him argue with you? " David segwayed.

Jordan looked at him oddly. David just grinned and wadded up his hotdog wrapper, tossing it into a nearby waste basket. "I can think of better ways to spend your nights Jordan."

With that he got up and walked away.

Jordan sat there walking people milling around she noticed a couple pass a booth a few yards away. The man was in a wheelchair. She could see them fussing over a decidedly frilly set of curtains on one table. After a second, the woman shrugged, setting the drapes down and turned away. She didn't make it more than three steps before he had rolled up behind her knocking her off her feet and into his lap.

They laughed and together rolled back to the table where Jordan could tellhe begrudingly, but happily, held out a twenty for the drapes. Jordan couldn't help but stare. In fact, she stared to the point where the couple noticed. When they whispered something to each other she looked away tossing her luke warm soda in the trash. By the timeshe looked back, the couple had moved on. The clock on one of the building facades told her it was time to go. She needed to be at Logan in less than an hour.

* * *

When Jordan arrived at Woody's room that night she was told he wasn't there. He was down swimming in the therapy pool. 

"Hey, look at you.." Jordan smiled as she entered the muggy, chlorine smelling indoor pool room and her voice echoed off of the walls. Woody and an orderly were the only ones in the room besides herself.

"Yeah...I'm not crippled in here...I almost feel like my old self again." Woody said offering her a weak smile and a wink. Jordan decided she'd take it.

"I bet it feels good to be in real water again after all the sponge baths." She said ignoring his 'my old self' comment.

Woody grinned wickedly as he paddled over to her gently, the orderly keeping a watchful eye on him from the side of the pool. "Now THEY'D be more bearable if it was you giving them to me." he teased for the first time in a while. Jordan found it refreshing.

She slipped off her shoes and sat down with her feet and calves in the water as Woody grabbed onto the side of the pool beside her and she reached a tentative hand out to smooth back his hair, smiling gently when he didn't pull away.

"Dream on farmboy.." she whispered softly and touched his cheek before returning her hand to steady herself on the side of the pool.

"So how'd therapy go? Nurse Jeannie said you can feel to your thighs...that's great Woody. Honestly." she nodded.

"Yeah well...I can use the bathroom ALL by myself now Ma.." he said with mock enthusiasm and sighed when she looked at him disapprovingly. He lay one hand on top of hers and smiled, looking at his large hand covering her smaller one and was about to chance bringing up 'them' when the door to the pool opened again and his brother, Cal, slipped quietly in, his head bowed slightly and he shifted from foot to foot nervously.

"Hey.." Cal said nodding to both of them and waiting to be invited further, but not really expecting it.

Woody looked from Jordan to Cal and back again.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you are doin'," Cal said shifting from foot to foot just inside the door looking directly at Jordan.

"I'm doing great," Woody bit out sarcastically. He didn't miss the fact the reason cal was there was sitting on the side of the pool nest to him. He took his hand away. "Can't you tell...?" he asked motioning to the hoist and wheel chair that sit next to it.

Cal couldn't bring himself to look at the chair. "The nurse up front said you got some feeling back...that's great!"

Woody didn't respond. Instead he shuffled himself over the hoist and let the orderly secure him in. When he was lifted out of the water. Both Jordan and Cal got a good look at the damage the bullet had done to him. The once robust man that once bragged to Jordan that she could do her laundry on his abs, had not only lost weight, but that trim torso he had was bloated and discolored by the long angry red scar that ran from one side to the other. Cal's gasp was the only one that was audible. Jordan wasn't sure. Her ears where ringing to loud.

Woody never dropped his gaze from Cal's face as the orderly wrapped a towel around his legs and shoulders. "Go home Calvin."

Cal suddenly felt a slight panic at the ragged scar on his brother's body. Woody already looked so much like their father and he hated to admit it but part of the reason that he hadn't come earlier to visit was that he couldn't live through seeing another person he loved lying in a hospital bed with a gunshot wound.

"I...I'm sorry Wood...I just...I just wanted to see how you were doing...I'm...I'm sorry..." he stammered finally casting a glance at Woody's limp legs as he clumsily backed out of the room.

When Jordan turned her eyes disapprovingly back to Woody he stared up at her innocently.

"What? I wanted to get out of the pool...I'm sorry if YOU and my brother are having a hard time seeing what I look like now.." he bit back. "And now maybe you understand why I saved you the trouble of having to build a relationship based on pity with me Jordan." he said with a cold detachment that scared her.

"Woody I..." Jordan started but he cut her off.

"It's okay, I told you, I don't expect you to want to deal with this, you can leave now." he said with the dismissive tone of a school principal having given his last lecture to a problem student.

"But I thought we were..." She stopped herself this time and leaned down to kiss his cheek unexpectedly. "I'm not going anywhere Woody.." she promised in a whisper and turned to follow Cal out the door. She hoped she could catch him in the hallway.

Jordan caught Cal signing out at the front desk. "This was a big mistake Jordan."

"No it's not," Jordan implored. "He needs you more then ever now. He's lost and scared...and he's forgotten how to feel."

"That's evident Doc," Cal snorted finishing his signature with a decidedly final air.

Jordan reached for his arm. "I asked you to come because I can't do this alone Cal. Your brother is in a very dangerous place right now. He's given up on life. I've tried to talk him out of it...his friends have and we've all struck out. Woody for all his obvious emotions is a hard man to reach when he shuts himself off. You're the only person that can break that wall down. He claims different but you're the only person that can get inside."

"Don't sell yourself short Jordan," he said softly. "He loves you more than anything. I know you know that."

Jordan returned that smile. "I know...but he's thinks he's protecting me from what he thinks is going to be a worthless life. Every time I pushed he pushed back...now that a few weeks have past he's just given up." Jordan thought of his cold reaction to her just a few minutes ago. She had hoped for anything shock, anger, anything. He had to know it was her that called his brother. ..but yet he sat there emotionless, dismissing her with a drawled...you can leave now. "You're the last person that can get through to him."

"He hates me Doc."

"I'm hoping he hates you enough to get up out of that chair and ring your neck..." she laughed.

* * *

Woody was settling back into his hospital bed when Cal came to stand by the door quietly and watch him. 

He felt a chill up his spine as he watched his brother fidget in the bed. Even without a hospital gown on Woody looked so much like their father in his last days that he feared he might puke right there in the middle of the hallway.

Woody didn't see him in enough time to kick him out and Cal merely shook his head as Woody began his rant.

"Save it." Cal said simply and shut the door. One look around and Cal noticed they were alone. He locked the door to prevent any interruption.

"You know I always thought you were the smarter of the two of us..." he started shaking his head. "But NOW...after all this I'm not so God damned sure anymore." he said sternly and towered over his now smaller brother.

Woody stubbornly refused to look at Cal, casting his eyes instead out the window of his room indifferently.

Cal had never laid a truly angry hand on his brother. Woody had tossed him around like he was his own child growing up, never hesitating to grab his face when he was yelling at him...even as adults, but without thinking Cal reached out suddenly to grab his brother's face and make him look directly into his tearing eyes.

"She loves you Woody...and you love her...what's happened in the past, it doesn't' matter anymore...the only thing that matters is that she loves you. Hell that's reason enough to stop acting like you are. You will walk again." Cal said with conviction. "I may not have gotten more than four steps in the program but the one I was always sure of was that there are things in life that you cannot change and you have to accept that. What you two feel for each other... That won't ever change..." he said and finally allowed a few hot tears to slip over his eyelids. "And you're my big brother Woody..."he said his voice breaking."I'll always love you too." he said with a curt nod and finally released Woody's cheeks from his grip.

"You were always the romantic, weren't you Calvin?" Woody asked evenly, almost unattached. "I hate to break it to you but love doesn't conquer all. Jordan may have feelings for me...She may even love me. But how long would it last with me like this? Jordan is not some paragon. She's...real. She has hang ups and limitations...and a serious case of survivor's guilt. ...like Dad did."

Cal began to pace the room angrily. He thought about the man that was their father. His memories of him before their mother died are more like flashes of pictures in his mind but he does remember a happy man that was so full of life. After his wife died their father turned more and more to the bottle. "You're not dieing Woody."

"No, but living like this is the same thing...and having a relationship...a real relationship is out of the question. We'd both end up hating each other. I can't do that."

"So what are you going to do?"

"As soon as they release me I'm leaving. ..."

"What!"

"There is nothing for me here anymore..."

"Woah...woah...wait..." Cal said holding his hands up. "What do you MEAN you're leaving...leaving for where?" he asked continuing to pace.

"I dunno...anywhere but here..." Woody said with a shrug.

"Woody, this isn't...you can't...she'll follow you." Cal finally said folding his arms with a nod.

Woody just shook his head slowly. "Not if she doesn't know where I'm going...or that I'm going at all," Woody said and cleared his throat when his voice cracked and the first distinguishable emotion passed over his face. Desperation. "I love her," he said softly. "but not like this."

Cal sighed and looked warily at his older brother. He felt for the guy, he really did. But he had seen what losing the woman he loved had done to their father. He couldn't' let the same thing happen to his brother.

"I'm going to be staying at a motel on the South side..." Cal said handing his brother the name and room number. "Call me when you need to go home okay? I'm gonna try and find a...a part time job or something while I'm here...Just didn't do anything stupid until we've had a chance to see where everything ends up," he said nodding and started for the door.

"She has the key to my apartment..." Woody said quietly. "I could use someone to take in the mail and water my plants...I have some bills that need to be paid soon." he said casually needing a reason besides the goodness of his heart to have his brother stay in his place.

"Thanks." Cal said turning back to Woody with a brief smile.

"Just don't break anything..."

Cal walked out the door and Woody lay there thinking. Who was he kidding? He could never leave Boston. He may tell himself there is nothing for him there...but it was all he really had. He asked himself how did everything get so out of control. For the first time in a long time he let that little voice in the back of his head be heard...

_"You just need to pull your proud, dumb, big eared head outta the sand..."_

"Are my ears that big?" he asked to the empty room.

* * *

_Long chapter...Thanks for hanging on with this. Promise it starts moving faster after this. Don't worry about "David". He came about when we knew we wanted to bring in an outsider to deal with a pigheaded Woody and be a sounding board for Jordan. So we decided why not make him Jordan's blind date. Anybody else would have bitch slapped Woody by this point...even Sydney...and especially THE TWO OF US! _


	7. “YOU’RE HIS THERAPIST!”

Two weeks pass and Cal becomes a fixture at the rehab. Sydney still stopped by when he could and played cards. As far as Sydney knew that phone number he found on the Albanian's cell phone was somebody in the mob. Wisconsin was a big state after all. If he suspected Cal's involvement he never let on...In fact, Sydney and Calvin were getting along great. Too good for Woody's comfort. In effort to monitor his brother, Woody was forced to call a truce in his war with him. Of course, Woody would never admit he was beginning to feel left out. 

One day, after a particularly rough therapy session. David helped Woody wheel back to the common room. Cal and Sydney were already deep in a game. A vender's bag of M&M's sat in front of each. Sydney's pile was decidedly bigger than Cal's.

"Is this a closed game, or can anybody join?" David asked pushing Woody up to the table. Woody was starting to bristle with people talking for him, like he wasn't even in the room...but he had to admit that just what he asked for it.

"Hey..." Sydney smiled at David. "How's he doing?"

Once again they were talking about him like he was a vegetable. That poor cripple. Woody frowned.

"We're going to try a walker tomorrow." David said brightly.

"A walker?" Cal asked. "...like by himself."

"No, dumbass...with a six piece band." Woody piped in.

"Garbo speaks." Sydney chuckled. "Are you on a break David? Would you like to sit for a hand?"

"...sure. Let me..."he pointed to the vending machine to get himself some anti.

"I got you covered," Cal said tossing David a bag of M&M's. "You, brother, are on your own." Cal said to Woody.

Sydney chuckled again and slid Woody a bag across the table. "I got your back man."

Woody smiled wordlessly took the bag and split it open.

It was five hands before he spoke again. "Jordan hasn't been around lately...work must be busy."

Cal laughed and shook his head. "Oh yeah, that's probably it, I'm sure your cheery disposition had NOTHING to do with her staying away..." he looked up as he folded his hand. "And speaking of Jordan, you better be careful," he warned Woody sing-song, "some people might start to think you actually miss her o-emotionless-one..." he said tossing an M&M in his mouth.

Woody just grumbled and slumped further in his seat. "I'm sorry I haven't been much fun to play with lately Calvin...it's probably the weather or the time change or maybe because MY LEGS STILL DON'T WORK!" he said pointedly and loudly enough to make the table fall into another uncomfortable silence. Sydney broke the silence by muttering the word 'jackass' under his breath.

"Are you going to be dramatic much longer 'cause I could come back or..." a honey smooth voice asked from the doorway.

Woody whipped his head around, opening his mouth a few times as he was suddenly face to face with Jordan. Only she was staring at David.

"David? What are you doing here?" she said with a saccharine smile.

"I...I...we're playing cards." David said not quite sure himself or what that had to do with the price of beans.

"You two have met? But Jordan hasn't been here for any of my PT..." Woody said confused and looked between the two.

"No no.." David explained. "We're just friends...I've um...I'm Woody's 'therapist'." David said standing and nodding towards Jordan's wheel chaired 'friend'.

Jordan folded her arms. "Could I talk to 'Woody's therapist' a moment please?" Jordan asked raising her eyebrows at David.

David excused himself and followed Jordan out to the hallway.

"Close your mouth Woods. People'll think you finally cracked," Sydney said shuffling the deck.

Woody didn't hear him he was still in shock. David never let on he know Jordan. Even after he had mentioned her a few times. And Jordan never said anything about knowing anybody that worked at the facility.

When he finally found his voice he could only mutter "What the hell...?"

"What do you care if she's talking a good looking single guy?" Cal was quick to point out. "Didn't you tell me you're moving on..."

* * *

Out in the hallway Jordan was asking her own questions. "What the hell...?" 

"Hi..." David said sheepishly.

"Don't hi me," Jordan said slapping her hands on her hips. "What kind of game are you playing here?"

"It's not a game Jordan. Woody didn't become one of my patients until after we started hanging out. It's just one big...silly coincidence."

"Not silly...ha ha. Damnit David, why did you lie to me?"

"I never lied to you Jordan. When I said I was a therapist you just assumed I was a psychiatrist. Here, I was hanging out with a beautiful doctor. I just wanted to impress you...and after we started talking and I knew we were just going to be friends...I didn't see any harm in it. By the time I figured out 'your friend' and my new problem patient was the same guy...it was too late to come clean."

"You let me go on and on..." she said stiffly.

"You said you needed someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't involved..."

"YOU'RE HIS THERAPIST!"

"I'm also your friend..."

Jordan sighed and folded her arms as she began to pace. "But you weren't totally uninvolved then...if you're my friend you should have let me know sooner that you knew him." She said stubbornly.

David could suddenly see what these two saw in each other. He could also see what kept them constantly chasing their tails around. They were both stubborn as mules and set in their ways.

"You know Jordan, me knowing Woody or me knowing you...that's not important...what's important is that he's in love with you and won't admit it and YOU'RE in love with him and and admitted it at the wrong time...you two need to get your shit together as far as timing is concerned, from an outsiders view of course.." David said nodding.

Jordan huffed and continued to pace. "You should have told me David.."

"Yeah well...you shouldn't have told him what you did, when you did it Jordan...he hasn't said much about it to me, what I know...I only know because you told me...but he's hurting. Hurting from more than the pain of therapy or the thought that he maybe the sameagain." David finally confided quietly to her.

Jordan stood silently and listened to him against her better judgment.

"You know...he can talk about what hurts and doesn't hurt during therapy.He's not shy about telling me I'm pushing him too hard or not enough...everything he FEELS on the outside is free game...but I see him flinch most when he talks about you.." David admitted.

"I've seen him just about to the point where he's lost his will to keep fighting and get better and then seen his eyes light up when his orderly picks him up after our session and tells him you're waiting back in his room.." he said pointedly. "He's got a will to survive Jordan...he's got a reason to walk again...it's you."

Jordan sighed and looked through the window on the door that led into the other room. She couldn't see him, but she could see him in her mind's eye. Woody and his chair...only his chair seemed so insignificant.

Her anger dissipated leaving just the sadness that had been a constant part of her life for the last few months. "Don't you think I know that? " She slowly turned her attention but to David.

"For over twenty years I carried to burden of my mother's death on my shoulders. Because of it I made so many terrible mistakes in my life...A few years ago I got a lead on her murderer and I...took off after it. I chased after it for months and ended up in lock up in L.A. By that time, I had burned all my bridges. I called Woody to come bail me out because I knew he wouldn't say no. It wasn't in him yet. He told me I was like an alcoholic. That my hang ups were eating me up inside...but I couldn't let them go. The thing was...I couldn't even if I wanted to. Woody never gave up on me. He was always that guy who thought nothing was too big to overcome. That is until he started hanging out with me. We kind of rubbed off on each other. I've come to accept certain things in my life and he, unfortunately, has became more cynical..."

"Are you blaming yourself for his misfortune?"

"If you mean him getting shot? No. He was careless walking blindly into that room...but he didn't ask to be hurt. I blame myself for him giving up."

Back in the commen room, Woody began to fidget. "What the hell do you think they have to talk about for so long out there? " Woody asked the table anxiously.

"Maybe they're planning a date for later...or they're _talking about what a knucklehead you are_." Cal said looking at his cards.

"My money says the second..." Sydney added.

"Where the hell do you think they met...? I mean they don't exactly run in the same circles." Woody mused.

"There is _life_ outside your narrow little world Hoyt," Sydney said evenly. "I've been trying to tell you that for weeks. Dude, look at this as a wake up call. You keep playing this I'm-not-worthy card much longer she's going to get the hint..."

Woody let out a sigh and tossed his cards on the table. Wordlessly he pulled away and rolled toward the door.

Jordan looked up as Woody wheeled to the door of his room. "Everything okay?" he asked and looked between Jordan and David. When they shared a look and nodded he nodded quietly for a moment.

"So what the hell exactly is going on here?" Woody asked folding his hands on his lap and speaking evenly. "So are you guys like...old _friends _or something?" he asked and almost rolled his eyes at the high school way that sounded.

"No." Jordan and David both said in unison.

"No..."Jordan said again. "We're not ..." she said and huffed. "And since when did that become your business to ask?" She asked evenly.

Woody furrowed his brow a moment before the emotion passed and sighed. "So how come you didn't tell me about each other if you _know each other_? I'm a big boy..I can handle it.." he said sarcastically.

"I didn't know...well, I didn't know that David was your therapist..." Jordan argued. "But from how he's described you I can see it now..." She mumbled and cut her eyes at David.

"You should have told me David." Jordan said sternly. "Nothing you told me is going to change that." she said with a shake of her head and turned back to Woody. "We'll talk tomorrow..I've just gotta...I've gotta clear my head."

She avoided David's gaze and headed down the hallway.

"Hey...you bumped me lower on her shit list at least.." Woody shrugged and turned back to his physical therapist. "You've known Jordan all along and there I was spilling my heart out to you on almost a daily basis and you've known her all along. I wish you'd told me...and I wish you'd stayed my physical therapist and not taken over playing shrink." he said through clenched teeth and wheeled back into his room.


	8. Revelations

The next morning Woody was wheeling back from breakfast when he saw Jordan signing in at the front desk. She hadn't noticed him yet. He always did like looking at Jordan when she didn't realize she was being watched. She's a beautiful woman after all. This time was different. The heavy circles under her eyes were evident...but there was more. Jordan always had an air about her. It depended on what she was from that moment. Be it Dr. Cavanaugh, professional investigator...or Jordan, the woman that teased him about his sissy coffee drinks, yet never missed an opportunity to help self to it. Today she looked lost. Not lost and desperate like the night she took off after Redding. This time she didn't look reckless...just tired...or more to the fact...defeated.

Jordan put the pen down with a sigh and rounded the corner with her head down. She didn't realize the wheel chaired patient in front of her was Woody until he said something...

"Hi," he whispered. She jumped.

"I...I was hoping to catch you before your day started..."

"My day is pretty flexible...I can't say the same thing for you," he said looking at his watch. "Slocum's going to sight you for desertion."

"Slocum can shove...I can handle Slocum. I needed to talk to you before I lost my nerve..."

His interest peaked Woody motioned to the door that lead to a small courtyard. It was still early enough to be deserted. "I wanted to talk to you too. I want to apologize for yesterday. I...it was uncalled for."

"Gee, here I was thinking it was the other way around..." Jordan said with a little laugh. "You are about the biggest hypocrite I've ever met Woodrow Hoyt. First you tell me you want a relationship then you tell me you've changed your mind...then you ask me to go with you to your awards thing..."

"...the Governor's Ball...which you stood me up for..." he grinned

"You had the wrong night!" She cut him a sarcastic smile and continued. "Anyway...after...after a few months you want to hang out again and then The Ring..."

"...which you didn't want anything to do with..."

"...which I told you was too much; you said you wanted to just be friends. I second I decide to take you on your word you have a coronary over going to a concert with David..."

"Whoa, whoa, wait. Are you telling me David...MY David was your blind date?"

"Your David..." she laughed. "Woody, I would have never guessed..."

When he realized she was suggesting he was interested in his therapist he sputtered for a few seconds and adamantly deigned it. "Damn it Jordan, you know what I meant. So we're back to square one...Are you and David...something?"

"If your asking if I let him go past first base the answer is no. Woody, you really need to bring your questions about sex past the tenth grade level. "

"Okay. Are you and the masseuse fucking each other?"

"...Woody."

"Alright, alright...I believe you...and well, I guess it's none of my business huh?" he asked with a sad laugh and looked at his handles fiddling together on his lap.

"It isn't?" Jordan asked just as softly and leaned forward to catch his eye. Woody sat speechless for a moment and sighed.

"I don't know what you want me to tell you anymore Jordan...I thought I made myself pretty clear with that...that ring I had and then when you didn't take it well, I guess I kinda ran. Not...not RAN in the traditional sense, but I tried not to spend time with you, not see you ...hell barely even talk to you because...because it HURT Jordan. "His voice cracked a little and he thanked the Lord no one was around in the outside courtyard.

"Worse than that gunshot or my therapy, it hurt bad Jordan and I was just tired...tired of people in my life disappointing me or leaving me and so I closed off to you..." he said with a shake of his head.

"And...and then you had to go and whisper in my ear not to leave you...that you loved me and it WAS everything I've ever wanted to hear...it was...but not then...not because you thought I would die or because you hoped I wouldn't hear it..." he finished and turned his chair away from her a little clearing his throat.

Her voice was dripping was sarcasm "I always go around whispering things like that to men getting ready to die. It makes cutting them up the next day a little less...impersonal. Listen to your self Woody. Damn it. What do I have to do?"

With her jaw set Jordan looked around the deserted courtyard. She stopped when she saw a picnic table near the dormitory section of the building. She climbed on top.

Woody wheeled over. "Jordan! BE careful. What are you doing? "he asked anxiously.

"I'm tried of being second guess Woody. Maybe now you'll listen." Completely out of character Jordan lifted her hands to her mouth and began to yell...

"HEY...HELLO? MY NAME IS JORDAN! I'M OUTSIDE WITH WOODY. HE'S THAT POLICE OFFICER THAT WAS SHOT A FEW MONTHS AGO!"

Woody noticed a few windows opening. He knew it was just a matter of time before security was outside...along with a few uniformed officers. "Jordan..." he besieged.

Jordan just ignored him and continued. "HE HAS A BIG PROBLEM! NO, NOT JUST BEING A JERK...HE CAN'T MAKE UP HIS MIND! FOR YEARS HE WANTED TO MORE THAN JUST MY FRIEND! I ADMIT IT TOOK ME AWHILE TO GET WITH THE PROGRAM BUT WHEN I DID I TOLD HIM I NEEDED HIM...I LOVED HIM...AND HE TOLD ME TO GO SCREW MYSELF! APPARENTLY, HE THINKS ALL HE'S GOT GOING FOR HIM IS HIS LEGS! NOW, I ADMIT I'VE TOLD A FEW...STORIES IN MY LIFE...BUT WITH THIS I'M BEING PAINFULLY HONEST...NOW WHEN I TRY TO TELL HIM I REALLY DO LOVE HIM HE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME! ..."

"HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU DOLLFACE. COME UPSTAIRS!" came a yell from one of the windows. Woody tried to place the voice while Jordan just smiled.

"THANKS FOR THE OFFER. HE MAY BE A BLOCKHEAD... BUT I'M NO PICNIC EITHER..."

Woody didn't think his cheeks could get any redder by the time Jordan climbed down from the table top. He'd had a lot of embarrassing moments in his life but he'd never had a woman declare her love from the smoking section in the middle of a hospital amidst a sea of cigarette butts.

"You're...you're crazy you know that?" Woody said shaking his head as she came back to stand beside him and he looked up at her choking back tears.

"It's not that easy Jordan...you don't know how it's going to be...if I can't walk again...if I can't be the man you need me to be...the man I want to be for you I could never live with feeling like I guilted you into a relationship with me.." he admitted quietly.

Jordan regarded him for a long moment before kneeling beside his chair. People had been talking OVER and AROUND him for so long that it took Woody back a moment when he was suddenly at eye level with someone, with Jordan, for the first time in a while.

"Is that really how you feel? You think I'd eventually regret being with you because of something you have NO control over? I'm not THAT shallow Woodrow." She said with a light smile.

"But you have to admit Jordan, working LEGS is usually a pretty standard qualification in a partner. What if I never walk again? I mean I know I'm regaining use but what if things had gone differently? What if you'd said the things you said and I ended up a cripple? Dead from the waist down?" he asked pointedly, knowing she understood he meant not only the caretaking aspects but a sexual relationship would be most likely out of the question.

"How typical,"she snorted. "Only a man would confuse intimacy with...his dick."

Woody rolled his eyes and in spite of himself bit back a smile.

"Is that a smile I see," Jordan cajoled. "It's been a long time. I knew I'd get your attention somehow."

"You're point?" he asked trying to keep his face bland.

"You keep on saying you'll never recover. You never say 'when I got out of here...'. I remember going to a dance club one night where this guy told me I was the biggest loser he had ever met..."

"Was he a good dancer?" Woody interrupted.

"He could use some help, but we weren't laughed off the floor..." she answered.

"...That's just your opinion..."

"Okay, he was a better than fair dancer. Would you let me finish?"

Woody nodded.

"I guess I realized he had a point. I had been living in the past for so long...life was passing me by..."

"It was Jordan..."

"...Just like is for you now. Woody what happened, happened. Now it's time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...before life just passes you by."

Woody was quiet for a long time before he answered.

"But I'm afraid..." he admitted finally and looked off across the yard unable to look at Jordan for fear she'd see the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...before he could tell it to her.

"Afraid of what Woody?" Jordan asked softly and sat down on a bench beside him. "What's there to be afraid of anymore?" she beckoned and gently slipped her hand into his like she had that night after his first surgery. The last night she had consciously admitted how she felt about him and he had turned her away seemingly for good.

"I'm afraid...that becoming _involved_ like..this...will mess up what we had as friends.." he admitted with a defeated sigh.

"We had...had the movies, the dinner the clubs and it was comfortable, not complicated by worrying if you were checking out other guys or I was looking at other girls...relationships complicate that. They take all those fears and worrying about what the other thinks to the forefront and couples end up just being shady and...and...Jealous and looney tunes I saw it happen Jordan...it happened with me and Annie and I've told you how well THAT went," he mumbled admitting his biggest fear in becoming lovers with a friend. He had been Annie's friend first and lover second. They may have just been kids but it was still painful to go through.

Jordan had to chuckle at his speech. Was this the same man that had a temper tantrum when she told she was going out on a blind date?

"I think it's too late for that. We haven't sleep together but we're both too far involved to just be friends anymore. It's going to be one way or the other. I've told you where I stand." She stopped and smiled. "I told the whole bloody block were I stand. If you turn your back on me now that's it..."

They were at a crossroad that they had stopped at more times than Jordan wanted to count. Only this time there wasn't any back doors out. They sat their like poker players each trying to gage each other's reaction. For Jordan, her cards were on the table. All that was left was for Woody to call or fold. But, he was playing his own hand close to the vest.

After a few moments of silence, Jordan stood up and smoothed her hands drown her pants. Wordlessly she leaned over and brushed her lips against his. By the time he opened his eyes she was gone.

Woody sat in the chair...in the courtyard for another two hours thinking before the orderly finally came looking for him.

"It's getting late detective...You've got an appointment in fifteen minutes" he said quietly as he walked up behind the wheelchair and started moving it towards the door.

"Let's hope not TOO late Gary," Woody said allowing himself a small smile as he touched his lips with his fingertips, feeling a smudge of Jordan's lip gloss still there.

Woody went through the motions of his day. He was quiet, even for himself. Once back to his room Woody immediately picked up the phone in his room and called his apartment.

"Calvin..it's me, I need you to bring me something.." he started and smiled. "yeah, yeah...you put it in the top dresser drawer back in the box like I asked right? Yeah...bring the box too...I don't trust you not to lose it." he said catching the hint of a smile on one of his roommates faces.


	9. Here's To Not Starting Over

"Knucklehead, watch that red light..." Woody yelled. His fingernails were quickly becoming part of the dashboard of his car.

Cal just ignored him and slid through the yellow light. "Yellow means speed up.."

"Not in my car."

"Nobody would dare crash into your car. It's a classic..." Cal smiled.

Woody had to laugh in spite of himself. Breaking out of the rehab was easier than he thought it would be. As long as he was back by the time the doors were locked for the night they'd be fine. He felt freer than he had in weeks.

He thumbed the ring box in his jacket pocket. There was a dent in the corner where it _accidentally_ hit the wall with force enough to chip the paint. The lid didn't quite fit right any more. He used that as yet another excuse for never returning it. It didn't explain why he carried the ring itself around for weeks.

"Is it right or left?" Cal asked breaking Woody's train of thought. Woody pointed to the right and the red brick building with its arch shaped windows. There were lights on the third floor. He smiled realizing Jordan was home.

Cal pulled over to the curb and helped Woody out of the car. There was heaving, hauling, and a far amount of swearing as Cal and Woody worked their way up the few steps of the stoop.

Out of breath, Woody opened his wallet and said "Here's a ten. Go get yourself some drive thru. You wait in the car...I'll be out in a little while."

"Yes sir," Cal replied with a cocky salute.

Woody wheeled himself to the elevator and pushed the number three. By the time the doors opened, Cal was cruising down the block with the radio blaring. If Woody was determined to go back to the hospital he could get a ride from Jordan. Some how he had a feeling the subject might not even come up.

When the elevator doors opened to her floor Woody thumbed the ring a few more times and slicked back his hair before replacing the ring in his pocket and wheeling to her door. He leaned forward and knocked softly.

Jordan must have been confused not to see anyone in the peephole and only cracked the door open.

"Hey." Woody said, grinning his first genuine 'Woodrow Hoyt" grin since the shooting. He smiled wider at the stunned look on Jordan's face.

"Wo...Woody? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in rehab at.."

"It's good to see you too Jordan...mind if I come in? I gave Cal a ten so he's probably abandoned me for a while.." he said with a wink and Jordan smiled and leaned over to hug him.

"Of course...come in." she said patting his back before she pulled back. "Want me to.." She started and Woody put up a hand.

"I've got this mastered." Woody interrupted surprisingly pleasently, smiling as he wheeled in past her. "See? Like magic." he nodded. "And if you'll lend me a hand I could sit down on the couch too." he said proudly and let Jordan help him to his feet.

Jordan didn't quite know what to expect and was ready to shoulder Woody's whole body weight if she had too. She was amazed that he was able to handle it on his own two legs.

Her eyes were smiling as she helped him awkwardly sit down again. "Look at you," she smiled putting her hands on her hips. "Before you know it you'll be almost getting laughed off the dance floor again."

"Only if you're with me."

"It's a date." Jordan stuffed her hands in her back pockets. "Did you eat yet? I was just going to order some Chinese..."

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had anything that didn't taste like wallpaper paste."

"I'll take that as a yes..." she said picking up the phone.

She asked if she should order something for Cal and Woody told her not to bother. Cal was probably sitting on the couch in Woody's apartment, with a pizza, running up his phone bill by now. "He's like you when it comes do doing what I ask him to do."

"It's good you are getting along better," Jordan said finally settling on the couch next to him. It had been a long time since they just sat and talked. She wondered how long it waould last.

"I'm still pissed off at him...but after everything...life is just too short to play games."

"Really?" she asked trying hard to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. It must have worked because he continued on.

"He's stupid, but like it or not he's my brother."

"That's a good attitude to have..."

Woody nodded slowly. "Yes...it is. And it's kinda why I'm here.." he said trying to hide the pain in his face as he turned a little to face her. "I think we need to clear the air..."

Woody rubbed his damp hands on his pants. It was time to show his cards.

"I could have died. I know that now. And I also realized something while I was in the hospital, while I was pretending not to be looking for you every morning, when I woke up or every night when I went to bed..." he said slowly.

"And what was that?" Jordan asked self-consciously twisting her fingers.

"I could have died...and..and I would have never been able to tell you that...what you said I _wanted_ to hear...what you told me...was what got me through the surgery...and the fear of not knowing if I'd walk again. When they were taking me in for my second surgery I started to panic. Not because they might make things worse or because they might make things better...but because I might not have made it through surgery to..." his voice cracked and he pursed his lips and brushed an angry tear away. "..To tell you that I was sorry for kicking you out of my hospital room that night...that I was sorry for telling you to go away...and to...to tell you that I needed you...I needed you not to leave me either and that I love you too...that I've loved you for so long and I've never stopped no matter what I might have said when I was angry.." he finished in a sigh and looked down at his legs.

Jordan reached out to hold his hands. "Welcome back," she smiled softly.

Woody looked at her like she had just lost her mind. He had expected her to yell at him. Tell him that he had _months _just to admitwhat he just did. Instead, he got ...That Smile. The one, he knew that if he lived to be a hundred, he'd never get tired of...nor understand.

"When you kicked me out I admit I was upset." Jordan thought of the other times she let herself admit she was in love. "I hadn't opened myselfup like that it a very long to time and every time I did, it would blow up in my face. When ...when it happened again...I was hurt Woody."

Woody cringed and turned away. Jordan just smiled a gently palmed his face to get his attention once more. "I was hurt...but I was also very tired and...drained. Let's face it, it had been a pretty shitty week up to that point. I took your words too hard. It took me a few days to realize that what you were saying was coming from some place, that in any other situation...you never would have uttered. In hindsight, I should have fought back. I just didn't have the strength right then. I know you Woody...at times better than you know yourself...and I know you really didn't mean any of it."

At the time he meant any single word. "Really...?"

"I can read you like a book," Jordan laughed leaning back finding a comfortable spot on in the cushions. "Even when you were still 'Mr. Small Town Values' I could see that arrogance that I knew would end up getting you into trouble..."

Relaxing himself, Woody smiled, "You're the one that always ends up getting me into trouble..."

"That's just your interruption. Anyway, there you werewith a hole in your gut and you realized you weren't indestructable, but you were still too damned cocky to ask for help."

"You weren't the one that laying there in that bed Jordan."

"No, but what if I were?"

Woody was quick to answer. "You weren't! Stop talking like that!"

"But what if I were?" Jordan repeated slowly and clearly. "What if I were the one pushing you out of my life because I was looking at an uncertain future?"

Woody stifled the urge to plug his ears like a child. He didn't want to think of a broken Jordan. Ever. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"You see, after a few days I put myself in your shoes. I know you Woody. When push comes to shove you would have moved mountains to be there...even if you didn't want to be."

Woody realized everything she just said was the truth. He may have let her push him away before, but he always made sure he was there when she needed him...and when he thought back, she was always the one that was there when he was at his lowest. He would have moved heaven and earth to be with her. For weeks he had been missing the forest for the trees. Somewhere along the line they developed this dependency on each other...even when they were both in a total state of denial. He had come there, to her apartment, still in his chair, to tell her he did love her and he hoped they could start over for the umpteenth time.

He didn't want that anymore. He was tired of starting over.

He not only loved her...but he needed her like he needed his next breath. Damn his legs. In the big picture they just didn't matter. No, he didn't want to start over.

He wanted to move ahead.

Jordan wasn't surprised as she watched the emotions parade across his face...but she was shocked when he abruptly pull the ring box out of his pocket.

"I love you Jordan." His words roll over each other as they came out of his mouth.

Jordan opened and closed her mouth. "I...I didn't think you'd offer it to me again and I.." She started but stopped and put up her hands. "But first I have to know what this is supposed to mean Woody..." she said and nodded, her eyes flicking between Woody and the ring.

Woody smiled and opened the slightly dented box and took out the ring.

"It means..." Woody started and reached out to hold her hand. "It means that I don't want this night to end with a 'thanks but no thanks' or just a promise that we'll be here for each other when needed or to always be friends.." he said nodding. "I mean...I DO want it to mean all of those things but I want it to mean that we'll be there for each other...but not just as friends...as lovers...as best friends." he explained and had the decency to at least blush slightly at the first mention of them as such.

"I want it to mean that we'll always be a part of each other's lives, no matter what happens to us.." he said and looked at his legs briefly before returning his gaze to her.

"And I also...want it to mean that I hope won't have to spend tonight in my hospital room with the herniated gym teacher snoring beside me.." he replied with a soft, genuine, Woody smile.

"I love you too Woody." Jordan whispered after a long moment and leaned toward him on the couch.

There were no beepers, no cell phones, and no excuses of walls or ruining friendship. What they were embarking on would leave them as so much more.

With a steady hand, he slipped the ring on her finger...her right finger. He had a reason now to get back on his feet and back to life. Someday, he wanted to buy her another ring for her left hand; a simple gold band.

Jordan smiled through her tears. The ring fit perfectly, like it was made just for her hand. She also had to admit the tiny diamonds hit the light just right as she ran her fingers through his hair to cup the back of his neck and pull his lips to hers. How long had it been? Jordan tried to place in her mind the last time a simple kiss meant so much. As the kiss deepened she realized that she _never_ really _ever_ felt this way.

One kiss lead to another and another. The doctors...and David...had reassured Woody that could perform. Most of the feeling in his lower body had returned along with all functions. All the guarantees in the world didn't give him any more confidence. Sensing his discomfort Jordan slowed down. She stood up and reached out her hands to him. "Let's get comfortable. We can talk, eat lo mein, and figure out where we go from here."

Woody smiled softly when she rolled his chair closer to the sofa. He shook his head and reached for her hands. With a dogged determination he lifted himself up and wrapped his arm around shoulders. "I'll be damned if I have to be pushed into my first trip to your bedroom Cavanaugh. If I can't carry you, I'll settle for shuffling..."

"Think of it as dancing..." Jordan said wrapping her arms around his middle. "Just let me lead..."

Woody didn't know if she was talking about walking or spending the night. She took one step forward and he followed. Half way across the room, she began to hum a low soft song, a waltz if he wasn't mistaken.

One step, two steps, three steps...before he knew it they had crossed the threshold.

She lowered him carefully to the bed and knelt down to untie his shoes. When he started to protest she placed a finger on his mouth. "Shhhh, I'm leading remember?"

There was nothing left for him to do but sit back as she peel his socks off and prop three pillow behind his back. He leaned back with a content smile on his face.

"Don't think you'll be getting this treatment all the time..." Jordan said sitting down next to him.

"You mean I'm going to be invited back,'" he joked.

"Over and over and over again..." Jordan's tone had no trace of laughter. In fact, it made him hot all over.

Woody wrapped the length of her hair in the palm on his hand and pulled her close for a kiss. The temperature of the kisses they shared earlier paled in comparison. His free hand moved from the corner of her hip over her waist and up to her breast just as the doorbell rang.


	10. “We’ve Been Busted”

Woody groaned softly and Jordan almost misinterpreted it as a moan.

"Interrupted by take out Chinese...now that's a new one.." she whispered against his lips. "I'll be right back, swear." she said pressing another soft kiss to his lips before slipping off of the bed and grabbing her wallet on the way to the door.

Woody nodded and shifted around a little, getting himself comfortable waiting for his body would cooperate...not just from the injury but from the pressure of four years of pent up sexual frustration.

He smiled warily as Jordan re-entered the bedroom and sat cross-legged, casual, on the bed beside him.

"Hey, looks good.." he said nodding to the carton while at the same time looking at the ring on her finger.

Jordan just smiled coyly back at him as she handed him a carton of food. "Yes, it does...really Woody, thank you...thank you for knowing me enough to keep it and expect I'd eventually come to my senses and accept it..." she said softly and Woody gestured her to lay beside him, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"You're very welcome...and to be honest, I don't know that I expected you to eventually take it. It was more that I was too embarrassed to take it back...and I guess unconsciously a part of me was having trouble letting go of the idea of 'us'." he said rubbing her arm as he closed his eyes.

He smiled knowing he wouldn't wake up soon to find himself still in his room in rehab, no Jordan wrapped warmly in his arms in her bed. Her bed. How long had he wanted to be in this exact spot? Jordan in his arms, finding contentment in what had been to that point tumultuous lives for both of them.

"Well, for what it's worth I'm glad you kept it. It makes me feel a lot more sure that you never really gave up on me despite what you said in the hospital," Jordan whispered back and turned more to her side and kissed him again soundly before sitting up to eat her dinner.

"So...do you want me to put Cal on standby to come get me later or.." Woody said and stopped not sure what to say next.

"Cal's a big boy, I think he can spend the night by himself...we've got a lot of...catching up to do..." she whispered cryptically and reached to take his hand on the bed.

"We do.." Woody nodded back and reached for his phone as they set aside their food and jumped as Jordan began to nibble at his neck while he dialed Cal's cell.

"Hey...ahh ha.." he said pulling back when Jordan bit down on his neck a little harder. "What? No...no, I'm okay Jordan's just...so where did you end up? Benny's around the corner? uh huh...yeah...well just keeping heading towards home when you're through eating...uh huh..." he said and pulled back to smile down at Jordan. "And you don't have any idea where I am until at least Sunday..." he laughed happily and hung up the phone before returning his lips to Jordan's.

* * *

Woody sighed contently as the early morning light filtered into the room. He had to admit he had spent more than a few lonely nights fantasizing what it would be like spending the night in Jordan's bed. His vivid imagination never quite pictured the last twelve hours but he wasn't disappointed...not in the least. 

The bed shifted as she rolled toward him. "Good morning," he whispered.

Jordan stretched lethargically and grinned as his arm snaked its way around her waist. "Yes, it is..."

Somewhere before dawn Jordan realized she never really made love before last night. She didn't know if it was the leftovers of his concerns over his injuries or of her own fears about ruining their friendship but she was suddenly that young woman in the college dorm room ready to be with a man she thought loved her. So when the food was done and things were getting more heated between them, she shocked herself by starting a conversation.

Comfort and sex was one thing but intimacy was something totally different. Something she had gone out of her way to avoid all her life. Right or wrong, the act of sex was something she was very familiar with. She knew what it took for her own pleasure as well as her partner's. Even when feelings were involved, sex was just a means to a satisfying end. To her, talking had always been highly overrated. Never one for sweet nothings and soul bearing she avoided them at all costs. Yet there they were, matching kiss for kiss, with talking about everything from childhood crushes to their deepest fears. What normally would have had her running as far and as fast as she could...left her more relaxed and...complete.

The more Jordan relaxed, the more Woody did. For at least a few hours he felt whole again. Truly whole and when it came time he was ready...more than ready. For the first time since he lay bleeding in the middle of a rat infested building,he forgot about the bullet, the hopsitals, his legs...everything. Except Jordan.

In fact with her fingers presently tracing the lines of his chest he was more that ready again. He was about to suggest they spend the morning exploring this new facet to their relationship when his phone rang. He debated on making whomever it was to leave a message until Jordan flipped it open and pressed it to his ear.

"_Detective Hoyt, this St Chris's...are you alright?" _

Woody kissed Jordan's little enigmatic smile, "We've been busted..."

Woody apologized and told them he'd be back for his PT appointment in thirty minutes. As it was, they rolled into the parking lot almost two hours later. Woody let Jordan help him out of her car but told her he go in by himself.

"You don't need to face the firing squad..." he smiled and pulled her into his lap. After a kiss that promised the world, he let her go, and waited until she drove away to wheel himself into the door. He wasn't prepared for David standing just inside with his arms folded in front of him and a thin lipped smile on his face.

Woody braced his shoulders and planted what he hoped was his most confident smile on his face. If David was looking for an explanation he would just have to be disappointed. Woody simply said, "Good Morning."

"...sleep well?" David asked.

"Wonderfully."

"Good, because we've got a lot of work to do this morning..."

When Woody returned to his room after therapy, Jordan was waiting by the bed with a soft smile and an even softer kiss.

"Hey, how'd everything go?" she asked helping an irate Woody stretch out in bed.

Woody just grumbled and settled back asking her to get him a drink.

"That good huh?" Jordan asked stroking back his hair as she poured him a cup of water and handed it to him with the request he drink it slow. She waited for him to finish the cup before inquiring further about therapy.

"David says...if I can do things not-so-therapy all night long then I can do harder therapy in the morning...he's mean and I don't like him anymore." Woody huffed as Jordan chuckled.

"Blabbermouth.." she said kissing his cheek.

"I didn't tell him anything." Woody promised. "He just...assumed I think. He didn't ask me anything, promise." he told her and leaned into her touch. "So...I was wondering...Cal hasn't decided if he wants to stick around for a little and I need someone to go home to or else they won't let me out of here...and..and I mean, feel free to say no if you can't but I was thinking maybe...that is if it's okay with you...could I stay at your place for a few weeks?" he asked quietly.

"They're talking about letting you out of here?"

Woody cringed thinking he could have been out of there days ago if he had just tried. "Now that the most of the feeling has returned and I'm able to get myself around it's time. They said it's time to go..."

He didn't tell her that his disappearing act last night didn't make the staff all that happy. He didn't come out and say anything, but apparently David was the one who went to bat for him telling them that Woody should have been discharged a week ago and was in good hands. The administration didn't hesitate in starting the paper work. For the next three hours David made sure Woody was ready to go. David told him that he was tired of Woody's half assed efforts. Guiltily, Woody gave him one hundred and ten percent.

Jordan sat down on the edge of the bed. "Just like that...huh?"

Woody misinterpreting her response Woody swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "I probably should just go back to my place. You're working and Cal's idea of looking for work is to read the comics instead of the wanted ads. Besides I need to make sure he hasn't pawned any of my stuff..."

"Woody..."

"You're right. Last night was wonderful and I don't want to ruin it."

"Woody..."

"You said I need to reconnect with Cal more. What better way then having him help me in and out of the bathtub...?"

"I have a shower."

"I know," he smiled smugly. A nice big shower.

"You can stay with me." she argued.

Woody smiled and cupped the back of her neck. He pulled her forward just far enough to brush his lips against hers. "I know."


	11. One Step, Two Steps, Three

It took another four days before Woody was officially released. Woody was a little disappointed Jordan wouldn't be there to pick him up, but she said she had to work late. Cal was there.

"Does this mean I'm officially responsible for your ass?" Cal asked while Woody signed the discharge papers.

"Not anymore. " Woody said lifting himself up. David took his wheelchair away the day after they said they were going to discharge him and handed him a set of crutches. It wasn't the first time this happened, but it was the first time Woody tried. Surprisingly, he picked it up pretty quickly. His gate was awkward and slow, but each day it got better.

Goodbyes were short and sweet. Woody was more than ready to leave that antiseptic smell for the last time.

Once Woody was in the car Cal took off neither looked back. Once they were happily idling in rush hour traffic Cal said, "I have sixteen hours of Tivo saved for you bro...and Aunt Marge sent me the recipe for her soup. I made two gallons of it..."

The last thing Woody wanted was to watch TV and eat bland food. Pulling off his hospital wrist band and stuffing it in the glove compartment Woody said, "screw that. I want some real food...and a beer. There is this place up on Broad..."

"I would say sure...but I gotta date..." Cal admitted sheepishly.

"My frigging first night out of freedom and you gotta date!"

"Second night Woods..."

"Jordan's working..."

"If you are looking for a good time I sure as hell ain't the person you should be talking it. This maybe Massachusetts but I'm sure there are laws against..."

"Oh God, shut up..."

"It's not that you are good looking..." Cal smiled.

"Shut up!" Woody couldn't help but smile himself

"After all you are my brother..."

"Not for long..."

"You're still not my type...maybe that Nigel is free." Cal teased.

"Go to hell." Woody laughed.

"It's good to have you back..." Cal said making a left hand turn.

"It's good to be back..." Woody replied looking out the window. Cal may be new in town but for the life of him Woody couldn't understand why Cal was driving directly away from the apartment. "Where are we going?"

"I told you I have a date...it's too late to cancel..."

"And you need a chaperone? Calvin, I'm a big boy I can be by myself...and by the way, what loser wants to go out with an unemployed knucklehead?" Woody became more confused as they turned down a few more streets.

"You said I have free rein of any woman in Boston...except Jordan of course. I thought this time I'd take you up on it."

"She doesn't charge by the hour does she?

"No...we're here..."

Cal pulled up to a little Italian restaurant that Woody had eaten at a few times before. It was just around the corner from the morgue. Woody piped up. "Hey, I'll just order some take out and I'll take a cab over to the morgue. When you finish dinner you can come pick me up..."

Cal didn't say anything and handed Woody his crutches. "There are a couple of steps down..."

"I know jackass."

Woody let Cal open the door and was taken back by a loud round of applause. He looked up to see half the department and most of the morgue milling around the room. A big sign over the bar read "Welcome Back". Woody didn't know what to say. "Did you do this?"

"No," Cal smiled and pointed to the bar.

Jordan was sitting there in her red dress. The dim light made the material look soft and warm. Just like the woman inside.

Woody continued to look around in shock as he hobbled over to Jordan on the crutches. He didn't even realize he was crying a little until she reached up to wipe his eyes with her thumbs and planted a long, loving kiss on his lips.

"You look amazing.." he whispered when they pulled back.

"You look surprised...What? you thought you could live through a shooting, months of therapy..and a night with me and not receive a party for it?" Jordan asked back with a smirk and turned him around with another light kiss.

"Go have fun...I'll be around if you need me." she said as guys from the force walked up and Lily gave him a big hug.

"I always need you." Woody replied with a tender smile over his shoulder as he was whisked away to a chorus of well wishers.

Two hours later, Woody was beginning to buckle under the pressure of fixing burnt bridges and being the center of attention. Jordan could tell by the way he was letting people walk to him instead of bouncing around on the crutches like he had been earlier. He also hadn't moved from the seat he was in for over twenty minutes and she could see him subtly reaching down to rub his legs from time to time. She made a mental note to rub them for him later that night.

"Hey stranger...getting tired?" She asked siding up to him with a big smile as he shook the hand of a guy from his precinct and was wished back to work soon as the officer walked off for another beer.

"Is it that obvious?" Woody asked looking around the room quickly. "You don't think anyone's offended do you?" he asked and Jordan shook her head. He was always thinking of others even after all he'd gone through.

"I think everyone will understand that you need your rest...and I plan on personally supervising that rest sir." Jordan said rubbing his back lightly as he leaned into her side.

"Oooo..." Woody smiled and closed his eyes. "In that case let's get the hell outta here.." he murmured and wrapped a hand around one of her slender hips. "You look amazing tonight by the way...If I wasn't so tired..." he started and looked up as Cal approached them.

"Enjoying your party big brother?" he asked patting Woody once hard on the back.

"Yeah, it's great but I think I'm about ready to leave, everyone can stay, enjoy themselves but I'm worn out kid." Woody smiled apologetically and Cal nodded.

"No worries, I'll handle things here...have a good night and just give me a call in the morning...or afternoon..." he said with a wink to Jordan.

"So where too?" Jordan asked casually to give Woody a chance to decide what he wanted to do.

"I don't care as long as I wake up next to you."

Woody stood up and adjusted his crutches under his arms. Once outside, Jordan asked if she should bring her car closer.

"Naw," he smiled. He shifted his crutches to one hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Together we'll make it there slowly but surly...it's just like dancing."

By his tone Jordan could tell he wasn't just talking about walking to the car...he was talking about where they went from here.

"I'm not sure if I'm very good at leading..." she said wrapping her arms securely around his waist.

"It's easy Jordan. One step, two steps, three steps..." he said kissing the side of her head. "We just need to take our time. We'll get there eventually."

"I love you, you know," she whispered.

"I love you too."

* * *

_Okay, that's it. We hope you liked it._ _Thanks for all the nice comments.Reviews are our drug of choice. ;) _


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